Got some brand-new gear, but it's not where you left it? It's unlikely you’ve got a sartorially driven thieving spectre in residence. Instead, maybe have a word with your missus – especially if it’s one of these five girlfriend-friendly garms that you’re trying to locate…
STUFF YOUR GF WILL STEAL
By Chris Sayer, 5 November 2016
Your old-school band tee
You’ve had it since college – the black Death From Above 1979 tee that’s got more holes in it than a knackered sieve, a few stains from goodness-knows-where and a tear in the collar from a particularly beautiful mosh pit. It’s a tee only you could love.
You and, it turns out, your better half, who’s sneaking it out of your room and taking it home on the regular by throwing it on and tucking it into her high-waisted jeans. Without you ever complaining, might we add, as, let’s face it, she’s looking better in it than you ever have.
Your expensive cotton boxers
This is serious. Dangerous, even. Just two pairs of undies left in your drawer. Well, two and a half, if you include the ones with the gaping... forget it, they’re literally unwearable now. Should've thrown them out years ago.
Unluckily for you, your missus has discovered just how comfy your top-quality cotton boxers are to sleep in. Want our advice? Check under her pillow, have a little look… Yep, they’re there, aren’t they? Knew it.
Your classic white shirt
Big night last night. In late. You’re already in your slouchy, old, faithful pyjama bottoms and XXXL I Heart NY tee.
She, channelling 90s on-screen heroes Cindy Crawford and Jennifer Aniston, is looking resplendent in your freshly-ironed white work shirt. And with a hangover? How? Let her keep it, pal. She’s earned it.
Your shin-length streetwear socks
It's never your threadbare black socks she takes when she needs a pair to wear home inside her boots, is it? Never your decade-old gym socks.
Nope, it's always going to be those packet-fresh, skate-vibes pull-ups you were dead set on repping with a classic pair of Vans Authentics and chino shorts before the weather got the better of you. At least she’s given them the run-out they deserve, eh champ?
Your military-inspired jacket
That same drop in temperature that’s suddenly caused the disappearance of your cool socks is the same reason for your seasonal must-have flight, bomber or army jacket not being where you’re sure you left it. It was right there, hanging on… oh.
Oh look, there it is, beaming back at you from her latest Instagram post while sitting baggily on your dear lady’s shoulders. But be honest with yourself – it’ll be a sad day when she stops wearing your overcoats out in the cold.
Want to get your own back? Check out five things you can nab from her wardrobe.