Obviously, nobody actually watches Eurovision for the songs, so it is important to take it for what it is: a great excuse for a massive party. Now, drinks here are easy (you want to affect the air of an aunt which extra-large wine glasses who always knows where to get the best deals on Marlborough Sauvignon. Which is Morrisons). But food is where the problems arise. A friend of mine, Aris, was famous for hosting an annual shindig in which the crudités were each the size of iPhones: you could spend the evening at his house and consume your entire five-a-day in finger food. But, though a value pack of carrots is a cheap and easy win, there are cooler and more international ways to provide edibles while you watch Conchita – and here they are...