There are only two more nights until the big kick off in Brazil and we know what you’re all thinking: What does the internet’s most knowledgable soccerball expert – @usasoccerguy – think is going to happen? Read on for his ‘Five things you’re gonna see during the World Cup’ list and check out his countdown of the five greatest ever World Cup goalshots here.
Dumbass soccer referees
Whether it's multiple minor offense card handouts, incorrect denial flag erections or not seeing that a soccer ball entered the soccer goal interior, soccer referees and their flag-waving helpers are sure to go and mess up the soccer party for some of us this year. Unfortunately, Seth Blatter and his buddies invented something called 'fair play', which means that no matter how much of a d-bag the soccer referee is, you gotta ignore it and say how great he is at the end of the soccer match.
Ultimate Soccer Awesomeness
Soccer sure can be pretty cruel. Just look at the teams in USA's group this time around. After working their butts off at soccer practice for years, imagine how cruel it must be to find yourself sharing a group with the USMNT? That's exactly what has happened to Germany and the Portugaleze, along with some place in Africa called Ghana. It seems that Coach Klinsmann (a guy that used to be German) has realised how tough the other guys have it and has decided not to give a seat on the airplane to golden-cleat contender Landon Donovan to give the other guys a shot. Nevertheless, the winningest team in Gold Cup history will be pretty hard to stop this summer.
Seth Blatter's face
Seth Blatter is like Don Corleone: the godfather of soccer and, love or hate him, the entire soccer world has been kissing his ring for some time now. A World Soccer Cup is a great time for Seth to show what a great job he's doing, so his old Swiss face will be literally everywhere in Brazil!
A country that has only ever given the world chocolates, Belgium's roster is like the sweetest tastin’ chocolate melting on the tongue of soccer. Traditionally pretty lame at the sport, this year could be the year that these guys totally own it with a team that includes the likes of Company, Jan the Tongan and Thomas Vanhalen in deefense and Hazard and Lou Kaku in the offensive sector.
The downfall of Tippy Tap
When Africa hosted its first tournament back in 2010, it was the Spanish guys that took the glory, totally owning the soccer fields with their 'tippy tappy' soccer play. This time around, it may not be so great for the guys from the Siberian Peninsula. Sure, their soccer players are still pretty awesome, but some of them are getting pretty old now and they just ain't kicking it that great anymore. Added to that, the guys that are given the job of kicking the soccer ball into the ballbag are not doing that good either. Their main danger guy, Antony Costa of the Madrid Athletes, has been left feeling blue after getting hurt real bad recently. It seems like the reign of Spain may be about to go lame.
Want more of USA Soccer Guy's World Cup knowledge and insight? Check out his official summer anthem Kick That Soccer Ball.